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For every single morning,It would stand and watch me shave.Now as old age approaches,It sure gives me the blues.To see it hang its little head,And watch me tie my shoes!!Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland, UK :1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT2. FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.3. FORM A LOOSE GRIP4. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.9. QUIET PLEASE ... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFFDid I read that sign right?In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOWIn a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUTIn a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRSIn an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKENIn an office:AFTER TEA BREAK. “It's one of these.”The cave was partitioned by curtains of cloth traded from Baraconia. The silk had fanciful patterns of birds or fish woven into them. He threw one open and nodded, then pulled me down to the soft bedding. I threw the curtain shut behind me and giggled.“You are so beautiful.” I fell to my knees. “Let me undress you, husband. I want to see your body.”“Wanting to satisfy your curiosity about a man?” he asked with a grin.I blushed. “I...I do. I've been...curious.”“Nothing wrong with curiosity,” he said as he sank down onto the bedding, holding up his feet covered in shoes. No avian wore shoes. We went barefoot on the mountain. I stared at the right one, then noticed the lacings holding it closed. I pulled on one and the knot came undone. Then I drew it off. I blinked. He had more clothing underneath.“What are these?” I giggled, tugging at the tubes of woven cloth over his feet.“Socks,” he answered, an amused tone in his voice. Did he think I was ignorant?I took off.
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